COMES WITH THE TERRITORY

With birth rates at dangerously low levels in Singapore, marriage seems to be talked about all over the place. Of course the stress is on the good aspects of it and conveniently, the reality of marriage is ommited.

Our government doesn't seem to realise that it's a lifelong committment but all the bonuses and benefits for having children are not! Milk powder and diapers alone will set you back considerably and when that is done with, there are the preschool days and later, mainstream school. In all this time, let's not forget medical bills. And we all know how often kids these days fall ill.

The picture does disguise the fact that children are not really the main issue here but the union of marriage between the two peopls is. While the parents chase their career goals and fulfill their financial obligations, there is very little time to spend with the kids but even before that, finding time to have sex.

Couples are just too tired and if sex is had just to procreate, children entering the frame (when not mentally prepared) can only lead to disaster. The relationship strains and even less sex is then likely. Love is only part of the equation. Marriage and having children has to be spoken off in much detail in order to get the expectations and schedule of responsibilities out of the way.

This was exactly what I said to a few young couples at a symposium for couples intending to tie the knot. I was invited to attend and later had my say when they audience broke off into groups.

Amazingly, all of them had no idea that the arrival of children could have such an impact on their sex lives. Pity, with all the education we dish out on our citizens, almost nothing is spoken about the different stages of the marital relationship, especially when it comes to intimacy. But it helps somewhat to know that celebrity or not, no one is immune to the effects that marriage can have to a couple's intimacy.

Bottom line is you have to work your heart, mind and soul at it. That is the hard part. Getting married isn't.

Missus Singapore out!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

Link to full article