SLAP FOR A LIE

Here is another good laugh for your folks this mid-week, with courtesy of my regular reader, James Bond. Enjoy.

A dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it at dinner.

FATHER: 'Where were you today son?'
SON: 'At school dad.'
Robot slaps the son!

SON: 'Okay, I was at Sid's watching a DVD with my mates!'
DAD: 'What kind of DVD'
SON: 'Toy story.'
Robot slaps the son again!

SON: 'Okay, it was a porno cries the son.
DAD: 'What! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was!'
Robot slaps the dad!

MUM: (laughs) He's certainly your son.'
Robot slaps the mum!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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Choon Seng Teochew Porridge: $80 steamed fish in a Coffeeshop!

Stewed Cabbage - Typical Teochew Muay dish Sometimes when I look at scenes from Tsukiji Market and catch a glimpse of a huge Tuna, I wonder to myself, "How did this Tuna, which must be at least 20 years old, manage to escape being caught all these time?" I felt exactly the same way with this particular Teochew Porridge stall.  In the hour that we were there, business was non-stop until they

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Spankalot's personal story - Spanking P

Hey dear readers, my sincerest apologies for not posting for a very long time.  Unfortunately for me, spanking is not my career and the need to generate $$$ has led to a rather mad time in my career.  A very busy few months which has seen me travel for work to crazy places largely without access to reliable internet and when there was it was the mad rush of replying work-related emails and issues.  Nevertheless I should be back on a more regular posting schedule in my blog so I thank you dear readers for sticking around.

At the same time I realised that I have never posted much about my own personal spanking life......don't ask me why......maybe I was so preoccupied with posting the stories of the people who have shared their spanking stories with me that I neglected posting more about myself.  Plus its different writing about myself........seems a little weird at times......but nevertheless.....here goes nothing.....about a certain ex-girlfriend of mine.....let's call her P shall we?

P was one of the girls I dated while I was in Poly.  She was something many of my friends termed a “wild thing”.  She had this quirky dressing and funky hair colours.  Wild she was as my friends reckoned for she took the initiative to know me, now a lil disclaimer please don't get the wrong idea I do not reckon myself to be a stud of any kind, and kinda took more initiative when it came to physical intimacy. 

So anyway.....you would know by now that at that time my dirty little mind was already filled with the spanking fetish.  And it was soon before I began trying my luck giving a few swats here and there to her cute little bottom but never much of a serious spanking.  Partly because the few times I pulled her over my knee and gave a few playful spanks, while we were having sex, I could only get a couple spanks before she wriggle away with a laugh and I did not force it because maybe at that point of time I was more inexperienced than anything.  Its kinda hard to explain, I mean our relationship did not start of as a spanking relationship and then I wasn't really that open about my spanking fetish to the vanillas.  I mean I had my group of spanko contacts and all but I had vanilla friends too.  Nevermind.......

But my chance came close to a year in our relationship.  My parents were overseas at that time, and yes like many Singaporean kids out there, when the parents are away the house becomes total chaos.  So it we were in my room and it was about ten plus at night when the handphone rings and its my buddies asking if I was free to meet up.  I had barely managed to answer when P started throwing a tantrum kicking me in the back and saying out loud that we had agreed to spend time together.  Nostalgic ain't it for some of you guys? The neverending youthful worries of choosing to spend time with either your buddies and your girl? Well anyway so I stood up, turned around and shot her a glare before telling my buddy on the other line that I would call him back.  As I ended the call I told her off for jumping to conclusions, yea I had intended to keep my promise to her and was about to tell my buddy that I would not meet them that day before I was rudely interrupted by her tantrum and kicking, and scolded her that  since she decided to scream her head off the guys were gonna think I decided not to go because she made a fuss.  She probably realised that she had reacted without thinking for her voice was more meek this time as she gave a pout and said that she did not know and thought I was going to agree to meet them.  But I told her to shut it as I sat down on the bed, back facing her and dialled my buddy's number to tell him that I was not going to go.  Of course I got a little ribbing from him for not wanting to meet them but they knew me well enough that it wasn't because of her tantrum.  By the time I put down, I guess P was feeling a little apologetic for her earlier actions and had hugged me from behind and was already nibbling at my ear.  I wasn't extremely pissed off but still little irritated at that point of time and then an idea came to mind.  Reaching back I pulled her over so she sat on my lap and as she kissed me I attempted a half-irritated scolding again about how she should not over react like that and she took the bait apologising in a meeker tone this time as she attempted to apologise with more kisses to my neck.  So I continued my little plan by saying that she was gonna have to do more than that to make up for the tantrum she threw.  And as she gave turned to straddle me and rub her groin towards me and breathe the words “I'm all yours”, I manoeuvred her into an otk position over my lap and gave her a sharp spank to her pantied bottom, she was just in her lingerie at that time which was convenient.  She struggled of course but I held her down and simply told her that since she wanted to act like a brat, I would give her what a brat deserved......a darn good spanking.  I continued spanking at a steady rate as she winced and struggled, begging me to stop.  And then I pulled down her panties and continued spanking this time at a harder and faster rate which drew little cries from her.  And when she tried to put her hand back to block the spanks I locked it behind her back and told her that I would continue until she took the spanking without resisting.  Her legs immediately stopped kicking as I continued to spank her already reddening bottom for another good minute or two.  She whimpered apology after apology giving the usual promises that she would never throw a tantrum again. So I let her hand go and told her to prove that she was truly sorry she was to take the last twenty spanks to her bottom without struggling over putting her hand back.  And I made her count them.  She was sobbing and apologetic by the time I ended and as she laid there over my knee, I rubbed her bottom and slid my fingers in between her legs.  As expected they were terribly wet and as soon as she began her soft moans and soft grinds of her hips against my fingers, I pushed her onto the bed and we probably fucked like rabbits in a full marathon for we were both sweaty and breathless when we both laid down exhausted on the bed.  As we laid there in an embrace enjoying a few quiet moments listening to each other's breathing, I tried my luck once more as I sat up and said maybe another spanking to make sure you will be a good girl from now on......and guess what........she gave a pout and........went over my lap waiting for my hand.......

Needless to say........it was a rather spank-filled adventure for the rest of our relationship but unfortunately.......it takes more than a mutual liking for spankings to sustain a relationship and we parted ways sometime after.  We are still friends though.........

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TASTY SEX TIPS

Here is one you might like to try. It works for quite a number of people I've recommended to. It really works both ways.

So what you do is kiss his or her inner thighs. Start out with gentle kisses and slowly suck on the flesh, gradually increasing the pressure. Imagine you are giving your partner a hickey and watch how he or she begins to squirm with delight. It's a great way to take the focus off the main course or it can even be used as a pre-penetration teasing ritual.

A friend of mine suggests using ice-cubes which might work for some of you. Try it out and I want to hear about your experiences.

Missus Singapore out!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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LOOK WHO'S WATCHING

In a country like Singapore, where more than 80 percent of people live in high-rise apartments, you really have to be careful who may be watching your bedroom activities. Well, watching is really not a big deal but with technology the way it is today, you can never write off seeing yourself on You Tube the day after.

A woman wrote to me saying how she found out about her boyfriend cheating on her from a voyeur who caught him and another girl at a stairway landing in her block. Apparently, she was kneeling in front of him as he was standing. So go figure.

Initially, she didn't actually see the video itself - it appeared on You Tube. But when a friend pointed out that he did bear a striking resemblance to her boyfriend, she checked it out. On questioning him, with the video playing of course, he had nothing to say, although according to her, he had a hard time looking at her in the eye especially when she pointed out the shirt he was wearing in the video, ironically, one she had printed for him on his birthday.

It's really hard to fool around but not impossible. It's just that in a place like Singapore, where privacy and space is a premium, you have to be smart. By the way, I do like this ad.

Missus Singapore out!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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SEX TALKS

I've received quite a number of queries about the sex talks that I attend so to address them all at once, I'd like to recommend checking out the HPB website. On occasion, they do hold talks for couples on sex.

Alternatively, many local hospitals also have public talks on sexual issues and sexual health. One of the most common one is Changi General Hospital, but the others do have such talks too. However, the private hospitals have better door gifts and refreshments.

Another avenue I find useful is some of the local online sex toy store sites, which have quite interesting talks from time to time. I don't usually check them out because I usually get invited for some of them. In fact, I've been a speaker and guest at a few of them too. Hope that helps.

Missus Singapore out! 

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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VIDEO OF THE WEEK

I just love this advertisement. But it does give you another reason on why you should always keep your toys.

Thanks Bernardo for this video and to answer your question, 'No' we don't get such advertisements here, and I am quite sure we never will, at least not in my lifetime. Sigh.

Nonetheless, have a super start to the last week of July. It's amazing how fast time has flown by. And make time for sex!

Missus Singapore out!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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