ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

This was sent in by Lorraine, from Amsterdam, Holland. I decided to post it because I have received several similar queries in the past. So read on for my two cents worth.

Q: I have been with my boyfriend for three years and we recently decided to take a break from one another. In the interim, I had a fling with another man I was attracted to. Now that my boyfriend and I are back together, I realise that I am absolutely not attracted to him physically. In fact, I think of the other guy all the time when we are having sex. What should I do to stop this?

A: Now this is exactly why time-outs from relationships are meant for - to expand horizons and expand your options. Clearly, it is about sex with this other man. But we careful because it is always the grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side scenario when we are out of it. However, the moment we get it, we realise that we don't want it anymore. That's just the human set-up and we are fickle in that sense.

But having said that, I personally cannot be in a relationship that I have zero sex drive for my partner. I mean after all is said and done (i.e. personality, compatibility, etc.) sex is still an important part of keeping the fires in a relationship blazing. Sex presents any relationship to a chemical level and if that is lacking in any relationship, I think it is really hard to think about going for the long haul. Of course, your feelings for this man and his for you are also important considerations.

I just feel that fantasising about other people while having sex is fine but when it becomes incessant and automatic, then I feel you have a problem in your relationship.

Missus Singapore out!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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