"Hi MS. I've been married for three years and my husband and I have had sex a total of 10 times over that period. He says that I am not comfortable with my body which is why he feels awkward when he touches me whenever we make love.
"I've been brought up in a very conservative family and have only ever had sex with my husband. I have to admit that I'm rather uncomfortable looking at my naked body in the mirror and feel totallly conscious when I touch myself. How can I overcome this?"
MS: Zenn, being from a conservative family sometimes has it's disadvantages, one major one of which you are not experiencing. I mean, having sex 10 times in three years is really bad. The fact that you can actually count the number of sexual encounters with your husband during the 'honeymoon' years is bad enough and imagine what it would be like in years to come.
Sex is a natural instinct and right for healthy individuals. In a marriage, it's a bond maker and intimacy promoter. Without it, things can really get boring. You ought to get started on exploring your body each time you take a shower.
Touch yourself and note where it gives you the most pleasure. Try taking a shower together or laying in the bathtub with your hubby scrubbing your back. You have to actively put yourself into situations where touch will be a natural (not necessarily sexual) part of the act. At the same time, you can also explore how your husband likes to be touched.
Should you get aroused, take yourselves to the bed and continue where you left of. Sometimes, you just need an 'excuse' to get things started and your natural and spontanoeus reactions will take over. Give it a try. If it's any consolation, I've received many other letters expressing what you are going through.
Missus Singapore out!
Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose
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