LESSONS FROM THE OLD

I was at the mall the other day and as I was having a nice cup of tea, I noticed an elderly couple sitting in the table just beside mine. 'What's so odd about that?' you might ask. Alot.

They were having a conversation about buying some bedsheets they had saw earlier and what struck me was not the subject of bedsheets but how they went about it. Their tone was filled with nothing but sweetness and mutual respect. There was also lots of physical contact, in terms of how they gently touched each other's hands.

With all the helter-skelter about us being a weekend, it appeared that their world was cocooned somehow. Not many things today send a pleasant warmth through me but watching the two of them did. Typical of me, I just had to find out more.

It took some time explaining what I wrote about and the concept of a blog but the Chinese couple finally agreed to share some insights into their union.

Married for 44 years, the man, Chong, was 71 while the woman Sally, was 64. They have four children and nine grandchildren. Living by themselves together with their two dogs, they are both retired. He had worked as a landscape designer while she was a secretary in a construction firm before she retired.

It was nice hearing about their lives and family but what I really wanted to know was how they managed to keep their level of closeness and intimacy going after all these years. I could sense that Sally was a little uncomfortable initially, and sat quietly to allow her husband to speak.

"We always say 'I Love You' to each other. It is a rule between us even if we had a fight the previous day. We never carry our problems over the next day." Mr Chong revealed.

He added, "We always hold hands when we are together, outside or even when watching television. In fact we go to bed holding hands too."

Once he got going, he never quite stopped. But then I took a deep breadth and interceded, "What about sex?"

Surprisingly, Sally took the wheel with this one.

"These days, hardly! But we made up for it when we were younger," she said with a cheeky grin as she turned to her husband.

"I think people should do it as much as they can when they can. But it doesn't me that we don't have intimate moments, it's just that we express it differently. We don't want his pacemaker to explode!"

We all shared a big laugh.

I then asked what they think the government should do about the low birth rates.

Chong shared his ideas.

"We used to have big families back then with no help. There were no bonuses to help us but we still wanted big families. Today is a different story. I don't think the bonueses will help. Couples need to enjoy sex all over again. Everything goes by so quickly and there are so many distractions. If you cannot find time to enjoy it, how can you even make babies."

Sally added, "When you enjoy sex, you become closer and in time, you want to take it further and
have a child. These days, it is all about making babies, like a robot."

The more I spoke with this couple, the more I am convinced that the government is asking all the wrong people how to solve the problem of low birth rates. They just have no sense of how to go about doing things or where to address the problem.

Money will do nothing.You need to create an environment that is understanding and open to sex. As it stands, even mere open expressions of affection are looked upon with scorn by the majority. Money is not going to change this. It requires a serious reboot of societal mindsets if you ask me.

Missus Singapore out!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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