FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (PART 1)

It’s obvious that the Internet and social networking has promoted the growth of the phenomenon of friends with benefits. It’s just so easy to connect unlike before.

You don’t have to go out as much as before, spend as much money or even, beg as much for a person looking for the same. They are all out there, just as eager as you are to have an uncommitted romp in the sack. Moreover, these days, it has been glamorised by society.

However, the challenge is to find such a friend, and when you do, how to keep the relationship on a steady and uncomplicated plateau.

For me personally, a ‘friend with benefits’ is not a term that sits nicely with me. I mean I have friends who help me with my IT issues, some let me in clubs without cover, others throw valuable work contacts my way – there is just so many ways that one can have a friend with benefits. I prefer the in-your-face term casual sex friend or fuck buddy.

On the surface, this NSA relationship can seem so simple but on the flip side - I’ve seen it many times before – it can also be a nightmare waiting to happen if you don’t strictly follow the rules.

If you are in such a relationship, then you will know that it may not always be so easy to maintain. If you are thinking of going into it, well, it’s only fair to lay out the ‘hazards’ that may show up at some point. Of course, you may be lucky enough to avoid them but still, they are worth a mention. Two of them come to mind.

This is no secret and it has been reported numerous times in the past – casual sex has the tendency to leave its players emotionally empty, and in some cases, physically and spiritually distressed.

I can almost hear many of you saying ‘That’s silly! I’m just in it for the sex. No emotions.’

That’s easier said than done. I’ve no doubt those are your initial thoughts and let’s just say you are able to keep to those principles. Your relationship lasts for an extended period of time before you eventually go your separate ways and close the book on that part of your life.

The problems however, are not so much with the NSA relationship. It’s how it affects you later, in your next, possibly serious one. I’ve heard it numerous times how some struggle to form strong emotional bonds or love, intimacy and trust with that someone special.

The second ‘hazard’ of having a friend with benefits is that over a prolonged period of time, it’s quite inevitable that one begins to crave more. It’s also common for some level of emotions to creep in. It’s really a natural thing for us humans to bond this way.

Science explains this as a natural progression that occurs when there is an exchange of physical energy that triggers the secretion of brain hormones. These chemicals are responsible for human bonding. Consider this – even after we stopped having sex with someone, we continue to feel some connection to them.

Having said that, it is still possible to have a healthy fuck buddy relationship and not be affected by it. Maturity is a useful trait. The other is sticking to the rules of engagement which I will cover in tomorrow’s post. Watch out for that.

Missus Singapore out!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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