ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

I've got quite a number of similar queries and thought that I'd address them all at once since they are very similar. It has to do with boredom in the bedroom.

Interestingly, I recall doing an article for a popular women's magazine back in 2001. Unfortunately, I couldn't find it but my responses here are very much along the same vein.

Q: The sex with my husband in the first two years was amazing but now I am almost bored out of my head thinking about how to let him know without bruising his ego. How should I go about telling him?

MS: It is very common for many of us to not say anything and hope that the problem goes away. Unfortunately, it never does and in many cases, this expected hope only manifests further into resentment.

It doesn't stop there because you will find that somehow, it will slip insidiously into other aspects of your relationship. So the sooner you bring it up, the more likely you will prevent this from eating away at the fabric of your marriage. And in the initial years, this can happen.

The best thing to do is find a time when the mood is right. No stresses at work, the family and home situation is good and nothing major is on the horizon. Tell him that although your sex life is good, you were wondering how you could make things better. If you take the first step, chances are he will get into rhythm.

Try asking him to do it somewhere else besides the bedroom. How about organising a 'sex weekend' away from home. Alternatively, you might like to vary the time you have sex. The idea is to make little changes initially and send the message that you like varying things.

Gradually, when he gets with the program, you can try different positions, bringing in props, watching porn (if that's your thing) or even role-play. You just have to keep adding spice to things.

There is just so much about sex to explore and a lifetime is often never enough. But what is worse is being stuck in a monotonous rut which can and often will dissolve your sexual enthusiasm.

Missus Singapore out! 

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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