ASK THE BOLDER WOMAN

Mrs LD from Malaysia sent this question to me a week back and I've actually tackled something similar in the past. However, seeing that there were several emails asking almost the same thing, I've decided to feature hers.

Q: My husband of six years is always in the mood for sex but I am not always. But I've sometimes thought of giving in to him so that I don't continuosly dissapoint him. Should I give in to him sometimes or is that a bad idea?

MS: I can't tell you how many times I've been asked this very question and to be fair, in my early years of marriage, there were times I too felt the same way. The way I see it is that it could be a double-edged sword on the one hand and on the other, an opportunity to tune your man to your body clock.

If you always give in to him, he will almost certainly expect it from you all the time and if you turn him away, a seed of resentment will almost surely be planted. We do need to massage a man's ego once in a while but be mindful how much you give in.

My suggestion is this. Take in his requests but don't turn him away completely. You may not have to give him everything he wants but just enough to hold him back until you are in the mood. I've tried the day-later strategy and it almost always works. It gives you both the opportunity to build up the mood. Give him a small sample and he will be willing to wait for what's to come.

Having said that, unbeknownst to many women, 'giving in' to their partner when they are not in the mood can actually get her motors running quite quickly. With many women, it is quite the opposite with men.

Men are in the mood before the word GO. Women respond to the stimulation and then get going. So if there is no stimulation, physical or emotional or even mental, how then would you expect to get going. So my advice is to try to go with the wave at times and you might surprise yourself with how easily your body gets with the programme.

The other thing I need to highlight is this. If you are not in the mood, it may mean that you are too tired, stressed out or mentally bogged down. Sex in these cases can actually help. With the release of feel good hormones, chances are it may actually do you more good, even if you think you are not in the mood. Give it a try. There is really nothing to lose.

Missus Singapore out!

Missus Singapore or Miss Us Singapore (at your own peril) - A married woman on the loose

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